randomz...

hey~! wel..i havnt written here in soo long..>__< sigh =/
>__<"...
yahh..igot 10 mins left then end of period..and we going to the coca cola factory!! >_<><" aiyah waste of time..but i guess better than skul hor? haha ^^sigh*
newasie..hrm mai head has been clearing up lately..lol..>___<" it been soo long..sigh abt 3 weeks pluss now..and i should be over him..><" but i duno whuy i still think abt him.. i guess it is kinda normal..><><" im not sure how much longer i will be here anywways..o.O sigh ~~
hrm yarh..he came over agen on mondaay..but this time i didnt make dinna fo him!! lol..>_<>___< hahah ="D" color="#ff0000">*welcum back biatch* been missing u heapss gal! hehe =Pp imma see her on saturdayz i tink!! ^_^ yayy hehe
friday night ther is a function on at metroz too..>__<" eeek! heheh sigh..i wana go and i dun wana go too..>___<" i got jealous last saturday wen i was out wit fwens..coz i saw him wit two other gals..and altho they juz "fwens" as i heard..i mean..argh i got that stoopid feeling..>< and it sukd..and i couldnt take it so i had to leave...ASAP!! haha sigh* newaise i gtg now..coke factory!! lol
biabiazzz

.: eDit @ 12.58am [ocTober 2] : coke factory was shiet-hoLe! rofl..>_<" they gettin stingyer and..stingyerr!! first we get showbags..then we got a bottle of coke and a bottle of water...then this year!! omgoshH! haha a CAN of coke and a bottle of water!! lol..wut gona happen next year? a stickerr? Lolz..>_< soo dodgyy!! haha
that whuy they are gettn a profit? coz they soo cheap and stingy..so they save money by givin shiet lil drinkz and blehh* argh i duno wut im tlakn abt now! lolz..>_< [zZzz...]
i hav to edit mai bloggers too..coz it dun seem to turn out very weLl..there are like..random sentences missing and enters..didnt enter! lol.. =X its scrwed mann! lol..

dREAmmm...dReam dREam dReaM..dReamm...

I like to dream, sometimes I think… I dream too much… =/
When I close my eyes, or even when I’m awake, I can picture images in my head of you and me…of what you and I was. What we could have been if nothing went wrong. I dream of the life that I wish to lead, the happiness and love I would be filled with.
In my dream my heart is still in one piece, my life is…great! Things go my way and best of all you are holding me in your arms… every night, by your side, feeling safe and warm.
Every night I close my eyes my mind drifts off and I start to dream. Images of us flood my head. I can’t help it; I can’t control how I feel. I wish I could sleep and never wake up. To live in the life I view in my head every night. To sleep with a smile and not wake up to reality. The night ends and the sun shines. I slowly open my eyes and a tear rolls down my cheek. Coz I know that the love I felt that night…will not happen today. It probably wont happen…ever…
How I wish that I could turn back the hands of time. To repeat the times that we had together, to stop myself from listening to everyone around me. If only I didn’t send that faithful sms… that message. I couldn’t believe that I sent it… I couldn’t believe that I wrote it. I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe the peer pressure around me was too great to defeat, and they got the best of me. If I could turn back the hands of time I would never have sent that message, I could have thought of a better way?
Sigh I don’t know what is happening to me now a days. My head has been filled with thoughts and images. I don’t know how to control it and my emotions have been going crazy!
I thought that I was over you, because it has been 3 weeks…and I know that you don’t want me, and things will never be the same. But there is that little something inside of my soul that wishes and wishes that you will give us another chance and we could be together again. I know that I will never make that same mistake again and this time I will be very careful not to loose u… again. Coz I been hurting for a long time now and I cant take it much longer. I just want to scream, burst out and cry. I wish that you knew how I feel…but then I don’t know how you will take it… it will probably the same way you did with my sms. I scared myself too you know. I couldn’t believe the impact that everyone had on me. I guess I’m not as strong as I thought I was. Maybe I’m just really scared. Sigh~
Why does life have to be so unpredictable? Why does it cause so much pain?
I wish that I could sleep and live my dream. My dream seems like such a great place… a place of peace and freedom. I can do anything, I can tell you how I feel…and you would feel the same too.
All of this pain… just because of you. Because of a boy that I fell for one winter’s day. A boy that I put my heart on the line for. Someone that I lost one of my best friends bcoz I chose you over him. I don’t know what I was thinking…
I was in lust. I’m still in lust. I can’t help myself. I can see myself falling into "lust" with you over and over again. Every time I see you I get a feeling. I wish I could get close to you, but I tell myself that you are not mine anymore, and I try to hold myself back. I’m used to the usual hello. With a hug and a kiss. But now it has all changed. When we meet all I get is a simple hello or a wave. >_< I want a hug. That is all I ask for. We are still friends and that is what I want. I know that I can’t have more so a hug won’t hurt. Well, it’s late, and I have school tomorrow. Time for me to do what I do best… dream…. And hurt myself… dreaming….

At scHoOool...>_<"

im in economics atm..last period of today!! yay ^_^ hrm
wel.. im home alone agen.. wit mai lil bro..>_<" sigh! that annoying little.."thing" lol o.O~~
and it sukz coz i didnt get to fix mai laptop andso my explorer not working nemore..sigh! so onli msn agen..hehe
i guess it not that baD..still can communicate..but cannot do other stuffz >.<" yarHh.. arh weLlz..
i can...hrm maybe..survive..lolx..
hehe newasie..hrmm life ...now adayz...><><" boring..rejectful..and the wearther is soo fukd! lol..
hrm i realised that whenever i plan things..they never come to plan! lol..like dreams..they never come tru.. i learnt that hrmm wuttever happens in life...happenz..and ther is nothing to do to stop ...the course of life to take place..>_<" hrm things happen for a reason?! and life is meant to be this way..
sigh* ig uess..sometimes..things happen for the best..
..hrmm..maybe ther is a set path for us to go..><" and these are the lil things that get in our way lol i duno wtf im talkn abt now..>_<" lol..hrmmm
i got athletics training tmr..after skull...and guess wut? haha i CBFD..><" sigh im soo slak now adayz..>< haha
and bleh..arh wells..they ned me..coz cant run the 4x 100m wit hrmm 3 runners!! hahahah =Pp~~
hrm yer i mite consider doing it tmr ..maybex!! hehe ^^hrmm
wel i better go before i get caught..><"
huGz*

absent parents again..lolx

on sdaturday..parents are flying overseas...><" this time for 2.5 weeks! ..argh it pretty long..i duno if i can survive..lol o_O~hrmm freeedom ..i guess!/but hrm harsh mann! lol..>.<" iwl prob die of starvation? lol =P aiyah~~ hrm now is the time when iw ish that i had ..him still >.<" coz hrmm nowun home..LOl sigh ! >< ^reminiscing^ roFL! ahah no comment! iwl stop there! haha >.<" newasie, im in econs atm.. and we are going to the coca cola factory hrmm sometime sooon..i went last year too..><><" sigh *sowee liddle kids* hahaha some of emz were year 6's tooo! LOL OooOoOOpppz..><" forgive me! hahah arh weElllz..wuts dun is done..hahah =Pp~
hrm tmr..mai parents are leaving..going overseas...for hrmm 2 and a half weeeeks!!! LOL yay! hahah ...
jen's bday ish tmr tooo ^^and prob go out tmr night! hehehe..planned* haha =Pp~ *siGh*
i juz did some random test..lol and the resultz:
Flirting Skill Level: 91%
Kissing Skill Level: 13%
Cudding Skill Level: 91%
Sex Skill Level: 79%
Why they love you: you keep going and going and going
Why they hate you: you take more than you give
LOL..i duno? haha sum random site mai fwen gave to me..lol =Pp
siigh..im watchn grease and some other show atm..it called..autumn in ny i tink..>< not sure..but got richard gere..and the chic hu addicted to shop lifting..i cant think of her name atm..o.O sigh~ hrm wel..it finishing..
i juz saw a part of the ending..and the gal juz dieded..="( coz she had cancer..and then sigh it was around xmas time..and her bf juz put up the xmas tree for her..and it was soo pweddi..but she collapsed..and sigh! she had to go to hospital..and then her family was all ther..but..sigh she didnt make it *sobz* and siighh..
i cant imagine all that pain ey..of loosing someone that u love..wit all ur heart..siiighh..
these love stowwies make me sad..and feel lonely..lol *s_S-s is bAk* ->serene sighing syndrome<- lol whuy is everythhin SsS! lol *trippl s* i juz realised that..><" hrm mai xiao gor called me sSs^gal (each S* stands for sumtink lah-lol) and hrm "he" called me..S__s__serene ^_^ sigh..>< iwl shuttup! i need to stop thinkn..and put the past behind mai fat ass..lol o.O
arghhh!!!!! arGh arghhh ArghhHH!!!......BLEH! the mooovie..made me sad and miss ..the speshial hugs..and kisses..><>.<"
hrm being single..can be fun at times..but then agen..sighh..lol there are ups and downs in life..this be wut i hav learnt..and experienceD..nothing in life comes for free..and it never lasts forever! they all come wit an unforgettable and daymn fukn painful price..>.<" dreams....
been living in mai dream world..a place wher i hav made up.
Every night i close my eyes...
images of..how i wish my life could be..and the love that i recieve...
the dream of one day becomig yours..and lying in ur arms at night..
the thought of u having ur arms around mine, makin me feel safe and warm...
my fairytale ending..my dream come true..
sigh~i tink that i think wayy too much..and dreamm too much..lol iE- i sleep too much? haha o.O~
it useless to juz dream..coz if u dun do anything abt it..hrm it wont come tru..
u juz be sittin on ya fat ass all day...dreaming...and gettn depressd over it all..>.<" haha ..sigh!
life is...bleh! lol...arRgh i duno wat im talkn abt...im juz mumbling on and on and on....>.<"
i better end this crazyee long blog..hehe before u all pass out of bordemz..^^
sigh! catchyaz all laterz..*sweet dreams*...dun dream too much! haha o.O~~ <> lol

~^*sWeet dReAminGz*^~

today was a hrm...weird day! i havnt been at home on a saturday for the past 6 weeks or so..and so today felt strange..hehe >.<" being at home on a saturday! haha >< i did a whole exercise on mai intro calc homework today! wow..haha i dun usualli bother wit i/c..haha o wellz..
sigh..nothing to look forward to anymore..so cutting back on the citee bumming..><" lol..sigh*
i thought i was over him, but i guess it wasnt as easy as i thought..haix! there are alwaise these liddle things ..everywher i turn...they remind me of him...and i get random flash backs of the times that we had..>.<" i duno how much more of this i can take? o.O i keep telling myslf to moove on coz it is over and the past cannot be changed...sigh* some of mai fwens are trying to be nice, and they tell me that..give it some time and he will come crawling back (rofl) siFf* haha that all i gotta say..!! but hrm it makes me think..and i know that deep down inside..sumwher in mai soul..i want him back! ><" i wish that me and him wil be back to us* >.<" i clearly rmbr the times we had..it feels soo real..like it juz happend..bleh*
"..i know its crazyee, how i still can feel ur kiss...
its been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since u went away....
i miss u so much, and i dont know wut to say...
i should b over u..i should know better, but its just not the case..
its been 6 months 8 days 12 hours since yu went away................." - brian mcknight- 6,8,12
yarhH..hrmm it feels soo reaL..feels like u are here!!..><" i miss u ...alot....>.<"
but i kno that it wont happen again..and i try to tell myself over and over agen...="( but i cant stop thinkn abt u!!...~~ it reali sUkzzz.. blEH!! lol
i duno wut to dooo? i kno that i hav to get over u...but i duno howw?!! >.<"
everyone been telling me to get another bf and hav fun! haha..how i wish !!..but ..hrm not wanted? haha ><" sigh* and it not right to go for another guy to get over ur ex..and sigh it takes time i gues...=/
bleh fuk knowzz!! my life is fukd up now adayz..><" ther other stuFfz that been going on..however i dun tink i wana tlak abt it..>< siiighhh*
newasie...
i went shopping today..^_^ went to garden city..shopped around for a couple of hours wit mai bro! haha >.<"
he is soo daymn annoying!! bleh* hrm i boughtz...
jeanz, a denim mini, underwear, two topz, something from the body shop (sigh-the body shop..brings bak memories agen...>< *thinkz*..*tears* siGH~~), hrm chocolate, packets of bobby pins fo mai biatch all the way in sydney!!^^wutta picky piece of pOo she is!! roflmfao--miss u sue li~~!!!!, hrmm and i boughtz body tonic! haha , and hrmm playboi key ring and earrings..^_^ i tink that abt it..haha =D~~
it was quite fun! ><><" but soBbz* they riPped me off!!!!
blEH* they ran out of chocolate while they were putting it in mai ice cream *CRIES* i was like NooOOooO!!
omg mai chocolate..sighhh......!! >.<" aiyahh how doDgyy!! i should hav bought mai apple piE! >< coz wen i got home i realised that i got a box of "HEavEn" !! OMGAwShh!! sooo nicee! hahah =Pp~~
lala....bleh*
*thiNKz* and wishES*
sigh..all good things come to an end..and nothing in the world comes for free..>.<" sighhh!!!
"..twas too good to be tru~it was like a fairytale,the dream i pictured in mai head everynight. Everytime i close my eyes i tink of u...=/ i cant help myself..i feel me falling into ur lust spell. the thought of us being together..i never knew it would ever happen..too good to be tru! my dreamz..they came tru? ^^but all dreamz, everything comes wit a price..and i paid it fairly..>.<" u stole my heart away and left me here all alone. i sit here thinking, dreaming..hoping,wishing.. sigh*regretting..!! i miss u..i duno wut to do?.. i paid wit mai heart and it hurts so mucH!..i feel myself drowning..my heart feels heavy as it takes slow beats. i duno wut to doooo!! i cant get over u..!! aiyahh....wen i fall asleep tonight im sure iwl be thinkn of u..><" it makes me sad..at the same time..it makes me happy!..that i had u as mine..once in mai lifetime..but it makes me sad that u were mine..but now juz fwens....bleh* i duno wut im talkn abt now..><" *i should b over u, i should know better but its juz not the case....* o_O sOBz* wel..hrm u have scared my heart..theres a part of me that .. u hav stolen! a part that cannot be replaced..>.<" iwl alwasie rember the times that we shared and the ..feeling..z..>< cherished forvers* sigh..thank_u....miss_u...sigh....."
wel that was unko! lol..><"
imma go sleep now!! haha..haPpy father's day!! ^__________^
goodmornings all and sweet dreamz...!! dreams dreams dreams...
"i wish that one day we will hav our dream come tru.. and it wont cost us much, juz the love that we have given to the one that loves us..."
~^*sWeEet dreaMingz*^~ one day..... i believe that one day.... one day we will get our happy ending....~~
everyone in this place called Earth..will hav their dream come true~~~** juz ..wait...^_^
+lUv yaz, bAyBi_dReamEr+

teLl ur loved ones how u feel ^_^

A girl and a guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle.

Girl:Slow down.Im scared.
Guy:No this is fun.
Girl:No its not.Please,its too scary!
Guy:Then tell me you love me.
Girl:Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy:Now give me a BIG hug.
::Girl hugs him::
Guy:Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? Its bugging me.

(In the paper the next day): A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure.
2 people were on it, but only 1 survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug 1 last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die. If there is anyone in life you love this much, please post this into my guest book or your profile and type the persons name below it the person i love name is not below because i fear he may not feel the same.

SpRing timE ^__^

september is here..and it is spring time..no more cold and stormy nights...=)
sigh..spRing..mai bday coming up!! yay ^_^ lol
today has been a great day..i havnt been happy in soo long...^^ sigh...maybe it is the weather? maybe the change in season?...
"..seasons change..people grow..."-mya =)
time to move on..^^ hrm i been telln myself...and hrm listening to songs like..hrm one last cry-brian mcknight and fighter-christina aguilera..hrm yer and so yarhh lol
lala..*
yer i tink im over him...but hrm i guess...he will alwasie be in mai heart forvers..lol coz he is wel..mai first...proper!! ..lol..><" yay! haha yer he has scared mai heart liao..lol..and so he will be there forevers and i wont ever forget himz !! lol..^_______^
ok iwl shuttup now...rofl..

[one last cry - brian mcknight ^_^]

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry
Cry.....
I was here
You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I goota put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...

lalla....it a nice song.....=) go d/l hehe but it a bit ..slow..>< the intro is like 47 secs...eeek! lol..but sigh it is worth it..=) it helpD me alotz...^_^

...lost....

its been..3 days now.. and i cant stop thinkn...
the images of us together that night, the day u askd me out..the times we had..the laughs we shared..
the taste of yur lips sealed on mine...i still can taste it..that night..apple...the smell..vanilla...
the touch of yur body up next to mine...lying together with the moonlight piercing thru the window..the kisses ..the hugs..
the way u held me close....sigh...the soft touch and the lust all around...so daymn intense..
sigh..i been thinkn alot..and i cant get u out of my mind... sigh.. everytime i close my eyes i c...us..
the fun times we had..and the times that we shared..sigh
it hard to say goodbye....and sigh..i think alot...and i regret that.....sms...sigh
i had soo many things to say to u that saturday...but i was ...kinda blank..O_o and juz listened to u.....i knew ..i had a feeling that it wouldnt turn out the way that i wanted it to.... yer.... but stil... sigh..
i know there is a part of me that is wishing and hoping that it will be ok..and that it will all work out agen...
but then..sigh i kno that it cant..coz bleh..i fukd it uP..and it juz wasnt meant to be ....
these past few days..hav been..><><"
sighh....so lost....... o.O